Breaking the Stigma - Why I Chose Therapy

I always thought therapy was for people dealing with addictions or marriage problems. I worried people would judge me, branding me with the brush of shame — like I’d somehow failed at this big game we call ‘life’.

But little did I know, therapy was for me. And probably for you, too.

Thinking back to how I viewed therapy just two years ago, I believed it was a last resort for people who lacked the willpower to simply ‘build a bridge and get over it’. Or, like I had done so well for so long — compartmentalise everything. I know I’m not the only one who thought this way. When I finally opened up about having therapy, I found that many of my friends and peers were either already in therapy or seriously considering it.

There’s an incredible amount of societal stigma around therapy, especially within communities with more conservative views. Looking back through history, only those with ‘serious’ mental health issues received ‘support’, and that support often meant being hospitalised. Even today, in 2025, some people fear that admitting they’re struggling will result in them being taken away and kept in a hospital against their will.

Beyond the social stigma, there are many other reasons people avoid seeking help. I was scared of what others would think. I’ve always been seen as the ‘strong’ one — the one who holds it all together, the one who helps others. How could I possibly need help? Looking back, I was probably terrified that people wouldn’t see me that way anymore. I was scared of looking weak.

Once I decided I needed therapy, it was a whole learning curve. How do you even find a therapist? How do you ‘order’ therapy? How do you even start the process? The first person I told was my partner. I knew she’d support me no matter what, but I was still nervous. What if she thought it was a waste of money? We were saving for a wedding, after all. But there was nothing to worry about — she supported me completely. And the more people I told, the more support I received. Not a single unsupportive comment or judgment.

Once I’d made up my mind, I started Googling therapy in my local area, looking at reviews, and trying to figure out what kind of therapy I needed. It’s a minefield out there. I figured I’d need a trauma-informed therapist, and I realised I probably had a better chance of sticking to it if the therapy was virtual. My Google searches looked a bit wild — “what makes a good therapist”, “therapy on Teams”, “therapists who deal with weird trauma” — but it helped!

I stumbled across emote Care, and that allowed me to filter through a lot of different people on one platform. I could also choose people based on specific genders, sexualities, and specialities. The ‘choose a therapist’ section also allowed me to see what they look like before I scheduled a session.

Once I chose my therapist, booked the session, and filled out the necessary sections of the website, all that was left to do was wait for my first session. When that first session came, my therapist made me feel instantly at ease. She asked certain questions that made things easier and I felt comfortable right away.

Since then, I’ve had more sessions, and we’ve learned how to work together. Being autistic can be hard sometimes, but Laura (my therapist) really made me feel welcome. At the start of our time together, Laura asked me what I wanted to get out of our sessions, as well as my plans (both long-term and short-term). We often refer back to the goals I set at the beginning, checking that they still (loosely) align with what we’re discussing.

For me, therapy is a lot of talking and reflecting on different parts of my life. I’ve started to question and answer why I am the way I am, and how that has affected my life.

There are so many benefits I’ve experienced. I’ve learned to cope better under stressful situations, I’ve learned about boundaries, and I understand more about why I am who I am. But the biggest benefit for me has been repairing my relationship with my dad. It was really fractured, but because I’ve learned how to speak to him and what to talk about, our relationship is so much healthier now. Therapy has been a saving grace for us — if I hadn’t had it, I probably wouldn’t have a relationship with him in five years’ time.

Choosing therapy really was choosing me. If I had any advice for readers, it would be to honestly just try it. What’s one session? One hour of your life, and if you hate it, there’s literally no pressure to go back — you just don’t book another session. If you’re nervous about meeting someone new, you can message them on the platform first, so they’re aware and can tailor the session to you.

For me, there are literally no downsides. I am slowly but surely getting my life back, accepting who I am, and learning to be the best version of myself. If therapy has been on your mind, why not just have a look? See if you can find someone who feels like the right fit. Have that call. You never know — it might just change your life.