What does ADHD look like?

What does ADHD look like?

It’s no secret that ADHD has become more of a topic in mental health,and particularly across social media, with it often feeling like having ADHD or self-diagnosing yourself is the latest ‘trend’. October is ADHD Awareness Month and here at emote Care, we feel it’s important to give people who have it. As not everyone’s experience can be diagnosed by a checklist that they come across online.

So instead of speaking on behalf of a community, we interviewed four people at emote Care to find out more about their experiences with ADHD.

Meet: Booker, Maaria, Becca and Becki.

What does ADHD look like for you?

ADHD can look different for everyone, with the way it presents alternating from person to person. From confusion and mental noise to a lifetime of feeling 'different,' ADHD can often feel like a puzzle that's never quite complete. For some, it is a source of creativity, innovation, and passion, while for others, it's a daily battle against impulsiveness, disorganisation, and stigma. Whether newly diagnosed or supporting those who have ADHD, the one constant is the shared experience of navigating a world that often misunderstands what it means to live with an ADHD brain. So we asked, ‘What does ADHD look like to you?’

Booker

”As someone only recently diagnosed with ADHD, I'm still trying to work this out! I have a lifetime worth of reckless impulsiveness, poor planning and disorganisation behind me which I now recognise as ADHD traits but, in all honesty, my biggest experience of being this way is confusion. Mental noise and a feeling that mental clarity is most of the time just out of reach. An experience which has often left me feeling hopeless when things fall apart or get too much. “

Maaria

“When I talk and listen to my clients who are diagnosed with ADHD I see so many amazing humans who are struggling. Struggling to feel and be ‘normal’ and to calm all the noise in their minds. In reality ‘what is the norm?’ Who defines this? ADHD is a part of who you are. It is what makes you you.”

Becca

"For me, ADHD was the answer for a lot of struggles I’d been dealing with for the longest amount of time. Lack of focus, impulsiveness, excessive spending, emotional dysregulation, the list goes on. I always just thought these things were my faults, but getting a diagnosis made me realise that they’re not my faults of mine, it’s something that can’t be helped.”

Becki

"I don’t see it as an attention ‘deficit’, but hyperactivity though definitely - both internal, which can cause inattention, and external. With stigma, misinformation and misunderstanding, ADHD often looks like someone having these struggles, never fitting in, but being led to believe it's their fault and they should try harder. However, they are already working 10x as hard as everyone else to get to the same place.”

So where does therapy come into play for ADHD?

Therapy can be a powerful tool for those with ADHD, but the experience can vary greatly depending on the approach taken. For some, therapy has been the key to unlocking a deeper understanding of themselves. For others, it’s about navigating therapy without being boxed in by their ADHD diagnosis. Whether seeking therapy or providing it, the expectation is often one of flexibility, and an openness to explore each individual's unique journey without reducing them to a set of symptoms. This personal approach allows for a richer, more meaningful therapeutic process where ADHD is acknowledged, but not always the central focus.

Booker

"I am returning to therapy for the first time since my diagnosis soon, but I really don’t want the therapist to work with my ADHD first. My expectation is for my therapist to work emotionally with my unique and personal experiences in order to help me unearth greater authenticity. I believe anyone that works with my diagnoses first is making an assumption based on a generalisation and that act removes me from the therapy work.

As a practitioner, I approach my work with ADHD clients as I would anybody. To acknowledge that I am not an expert of them and am there to best understand their journey from their perspective as best I can. If a client discloses their ADHD diagnosis, I believe it is my job to be curious and explore their individual experience in order to better understand how I can help. For some, working with their ADHD is pivotal in their recovery journey, for others not so much. Each person is unique in their experience and it is my job to acknowledge that without making assumptions.”

Maaria

“As a therapist when working with my clients who may think they have ADHD or are diagnosed with this we do a lot of exploration on what this means to them and how it makes them feel. It’s surprising how many of my clients feel better after a diagnosis as it gives them a sense of self and helps them better understand why they may behave or do things in a certain way. I’m always wary of not wanting to put too much emphasis on this as I feel each client's experiences are different and some may want to focus their therapy journey solely on working on managing their ADHD but others may find it difficult to talk about this. Hence why I work with the clients autonomy on how they want the sessions to work.”

Becca

“It was actually therapy that made me realise I have ADHD and not just a lot of personal faults. I was getting therapy for depression at the time and the therapist noticed a lot of my traits could have been ADHD so encouraged me to go down the diagnosis pathway. This allowed me to see myself in a different light, and whilst that therapy stopped, going forward I’ll be looking for a therapist who, whilst specialising in ADHD, won’t put me in a box because of it.“

Becki

”I have had some good experiences of therapy even before I was aware of my ADHD. Many things did improve with therapy, but not the ADHD which I wanted to change at the time. I didn’t know how to articulate some of my feelings either, but since being diagnosed this year, everything just made more sense. Going to therapy after this helped me feel so much more seen, understood and validated. This is what I hope to give people in my own work as a therapist. I like to understand each individual client and their uniqueness, being really flexible in my approach to find out what works from them. CBT (what I’m trained in) can be so helpful for people with ADHD when done in this way; it won’t ever get rid of ADHD symptoms, but it can change your perspective of them and help understand the impact they may or may not be having on other issues. This can be crucial to addressing current or future mental health issues.

What’s one thing you want the world to know about ADHD?

As we said, living with ADHD is often more complex than ticking off a list of traits or fitting into a pre-defined category. For many, ADHD has been a lifelong, intangible experience—one that can feel overwhelming, but also offers unexpected strengths like creativity and thinking outside the box.

Medication, for some, has been a game-changer, offering clarity, hope, and energy. But perhaps the most profound shift comes when individuals stop fighting against their ADHD and begin embracing it, carving out their own paths rather than trying to fit into societal norms. ADHD isn't just a diagnosis; it’s a way of being, with both its challenges and its unique gifts. So we asked, ‘what’s one thing you want the world to know about ADHD?’

Booker

"That, despite the social media obsession with quantifying what ADHD is, it feels incredibly intangible to me. Especially as it’s all I've ever known. Ticking off my traits against a list of ADHD traits feels disingenuous and facile compared to my emotional experience of feeling muddled, hopeless and overwhelmed. Oh, and I love Ritalin - that has really helped me feel more hopeful and less overwhelmed.”

Becca

"That, whilst it was hard before diagnosis and treatment (the perfect blend of Elvanse and Amfexa has changed my life), ADHD isn’t all bad. It’s given me creativity, helps me think outside the box more and I managed to collect an incredible collection of colourful shirts before the excessive spending got under control.“

Becki

“As soon as I started understanding how ADHD affected me specifically, I realised that I didn’t need to fight against this; working to just accept myself and my symptoms instead changed my life. It was the final piece of the puzzle for me. I’m still a work in progress, but I no longer feel like I’m a square block trying to fit into a triangle hole – I can make my own hole! Ultimately this just reduced the pressure on myself to fit into certain society rules that don’t actually matter. Medication has also helped with this massively, giving me a lot more energy to do what I want to, and I would certainly recommend trying it.”

If you have ADHD and you’re looking for a therapist who will offer personalised support, browse through our platform to find a therapist or counsellor today, and take the first step toward improving your mental health and well-being.