What Online Therapy Is Really Like: Steph’s Journey

I want to tell you about my personal experience with therapy because there's plenty of misconceptions — my personal favourite is that you'll spend the whole time crying on a chaise lounge. I attend online therapy, so sadly no comfy chaise lounge and to be honest there haven't been many tears (yet) either.

I am hoping that by sharing my experience, it will help put others at ease to take that step.

The first session

The first session of online therapy is probably going to be different depending on who your therapist is and how they work. Personally, my therapist started by:

Telling me a bit about herself, why she does what she does, and what her approach to therapy is.

I added some personal information about myself when I signed up to emote, and what I wanted to gain from therapy so we also worked through this which was helpful.

Laura, my therapist, asked lots of questions, which really made me feel at ease. She took control of the conversation and steered it in a way that allowed her to get the information she needed whilst ensuring that I felt comfortable.

I also told her that I'm autistic and therefore tend to over-explain things. Laura's only concern was how she should communicate with me to ensure I had a positive therapy experience.

Preparing for online therapy

You don't have to, but before my first session, I wrote a list of things I wanted to get out of therapy to unpack, which I personally found useful. My therapist said we'd aim to go through these but that if we go off track, it's likely because my thoughts are leading me there.

Heading into that first session, I was definitely nervous, and the following few sessions brought nerves too, but they have since faded week on week.

A typical session for me

My sessions usually begin with:

A question about something we discussed in a previous session (e.g., boundaries, feelings, a specific memory).

A recap of the previous session.

A check-in on how my week went.

Laura often asks reflective questions to help guide the process and explains my feelings in ways I can't articulate myself. This always makes me feel very seen and acknowledged. I just feel more in tune with who I am and why I feel what I feel.

Key things that have stood out to me from online therapy:

Feeling understood: One of the standout moments in therapy was when Laura and I discussed how I feel and express emotions. I've always been ashamed that I don't feel things intensely—like not crying when I was diagnosed with cancer. Laura normalised this for me as an autistic trait and even went a step further by finding a YouTube content creator who talks about it. That made me feel seen and instantly more okay with how I handle my emotions.

All emotions are valid: Although I don't feel emotions as intensely as others, therapy has brought out a range of feelings—anger, sadness, and happiness. It's completely normal and healthy to experience them all in a space without judgement.

Honesty is key: Friends who've had therapy online told me to always be truthful and avoid trying to be the “perfect patient.” This has been invaluable advice. Honesty allows therapists to provide the best support without misunderstanding where you're at.

Overcoming judgement: Having therapy online has helped me overcome my fear of being judged—for prioritising myself, talking about myself, or thinking my problems weren't “real” enough. Feeling seen without judgement has been one of the most comforting parts of this journey.

Tips for considering therapy online

If you're thinking about online therapy, here are some tips from myself:

What if I don’t like my therapist?

Finding a therapist that is right for you can be tough, if your therapist isn't the right fit, don't worry—it happens!

At the end of your session, you can let them know, send a message later, or simply not book again (though ghosting isn’t ideal so it would be nice to let them know).

What if I don’t know what to say?

It’s normal to feel this way in the beginning. Remember, your therapist is there to guide the conversation and help you with this.

How to find the right therapist?

Platforms like emote Care allow you to filter for therapists specialising in areas that matter most to you

Read profiles and look at pictures to get a sense of who might be a good fit

You can also book free 15 minute intro sessions on emote to help you find a therapist who you connect with before you commit

Therapy is an individual process designed to support you. If you’re curious, take a small step—whether it’s researching online therapy, exploring emote Care’s platform, or learning about different therapy types. You never know; you might come out the other side a better version of yourself.

What online therapy is really like: Steph’s journey